Brows 101

What up, dingles.

This blog has fallen (more) silent (than usual) lately, and that’s because I was preparing for the JLPT – and to leave the country. Forever. (Slash for now.)

BUSY TIMES.
But now that the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) is over, I should have slightly more time to fux with my internet hobbies.

THAT SAID:
The next post of my self-inflicted Hair Challenge is underway – and in the meantime, I made a quick video! And it still technically pertains to hair, so. Hah.

Brow grooming 101, for those of us whose brows require multiple tools to tame. This is the technique I’ve used to subdue my brows for years, and it’s p good.

Let me know what you think!

XX

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Space Buns

Let the Hair Challenge continue!

This look comes straight out of Japan’s kawaii culture – that is to say, it’s hella cutesy and feminine. Not usually my thing, but with the right outfit and runway snarl you can give it a bit of edge.

I’ve seen these called Kuma (bear) Ears – or shit, you could probs just call them buns, that’s p much what they are – but for the sake of promoting my Space Punk aesthetic, I’ve labeled them Space Buns. Nothing too advanced here technique-wise, but I have Photoshop ffs so hey here’s a tutorial. There are a few ways to obtain this or similar styles, but I went the teasing/pinning route.

panda ears tutorial

Steps:
1. Create pigtails where you want the buns to lay on your head. (That sounded weird ahem.)
2. Tease the crap outta them pigtails.
3. 
Wrap and pin the buns to the shape and size you want.
4. Spray the crap out of that shit.

Voila. Stupid easy. I also curled my hair into loose waves when I last wore this look – as you can see below, in a photo from our last artsy shoot ;).

space buns behind

Look forward to the rest of that photodump soon.
(There were cherry blossoms. And dandelions. So kawaii.)

Also here’s another tutorial for the same basic style that I saw on Pinterest. This lady’s technique and positioning are a bit different than mine, so depending on your hair type/cut this might work better for you. I, having way too much thick-as-fuck hair, had plenty to wrap around into a full bun, but for shorter hair you might have better luck with the technique below.

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Adorbs.

Also super jelly of her hair color. ON THAT NOTE time to get back on the challenge/tutorial game before my roots grow back.

Stay kawaii, hookers.

XX

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How to Speak Japanese

We interrupt our regularly scheduled hair-related programming to bring you a new video: How to Speak Japanese (A Scathingly Sarcastic Guide).

I’m weirdly proud of this video, content- and editing-wise – to the point that I almost feel compelled to share it with people I actually know….’Cause yes, shocker, my YouTube channel as well as this blog are somewhat secret. Millennial self-importance meets shame. Typical.

Comically, a dream I had the other night featuring a certain YouTuber (who shall go unnamed to protect my dignity as a fangirl) suggested I need to stop hiding my these secrets (however cringe they may be) and unify the stratified parts of my self – that is to say, the “me” my friends know and the “me” I am alone.

…We’ll see how much nagging I can take from my subconscious before I actually heed its suggestions.

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Hair (Tutorial) Challenge

ALRIGHT, enough is enough.

This is getting out of hand. If I’m honest it has been for a while now.

I don’t know how much more I can take.

It’s getting to be about that time…

Time to cut my fucking hair off.

 

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I mean srsly look at this mess.

I’ve been growing my hair out for like 4 years, striving to get it as long as possible, simply because I’d never had long hair before.

There’s a fucking reason for that.

When you've technically had your hair in Dutch braids since last year…

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Exhibit A.

I HATE IT. It takes forever to wash and brush, it looks like shit down (in my case and my opinion at least), and as far as bad hair days go, they seem to rear their ugly heads (GET IT) more frequently the longer mine grows.

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And good hair days (see above) require a level of try-harding for which I lack the energy.

I miss having short hair. I loved it. (And I think we can all agree it suits me better, if you were to pretend to have an opinion on the matter.) But the reason I forsook it is not lost on me: I wanted long hair, for once in my life, so I could learn how to style it.

Arguably, I did learn how to style it…Mission accomplished?

I blame the advent of the fishtail braid. And just…Pinterest. This is your fault.

 

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Braids 4 days.

I got caught up in the torrent of hair tutorials granted me by stumbleupon during the many hours of Asian Studies lectures I spent web-surfing, and now here I stand, master of the long outdated fishtail braid and its brethren, purveyor of long straw-blonde hairs that trail in my wake wherever I go.

That said: I’m gonna cut this shit off. Soon.

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The doe-eyed stare stays tho. Obvs.

BUT: before that, I wanna take it on one last spin (and dye it one more color, maybe) and explore just how much I’ve learned to do in the way of styling long-ass hair. This blog’s about to get hit with a shitton of hair photos (and perhaps tutorials where I see fit).

Hair game leveled up #mohawkbraid ftw

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Like my take on the mohawk braid. Yay original content.

Brace yourself, Pinterest.

And then I can finally be done with it. 4 years of preparation and experimentation over. Back to short, easy, flattering hair.

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Not just hair that pretends to be short…

Or who knows, maybe this little exercise will renew my fascination with long hair, motivate me to do more new, interesting things with it, and convince me to keep it a little longer.

#hangover is a good look for me

A post shared by Charlotte Delautre (@harlequinharlot) on

I could always add to my repertoire of hungover hairstyles.

FUCKING DOUBT IT THOUGH.

In any case, this project is officially underway. Or, as officially as holding my own word to myself goes. Ahem.

My NuMe and I have some serious work to do. I’ll be back with photos that aren’t just sarcastic snapchats.

Later, hookers.

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Paint Me As A Villain…

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That “wicked” joke starting to make sense now? Barely? Good enough.

Since I’d already abused my hair into this gross straw color (and straw consistency, incidentally, oops) I figured there was no better costume than the lovely and psychotic Harleen Frances Quinzel, M.D.

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Me and the rest of the gd world, it seems.

I thought I’d get a leg up and go as Harley this year rather than after the movie actually comes out, BUT as there is no such thing as originality and thus is the unbearable lightness of being, literally everyone else in the world apparently had that same thought.

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Sigh. Figures.

Since there are roughly 6000 Harley tutorials out there already, I’m gonna abstain from dumping another one into the internet void. Instead here are the results of a totally sober photo shoot from this my second Halloween in Japan.

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Totally sober.

And I might as well go through the products I used. Pourquoi pas.

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Clothing:
Baseball Tee – 400 Yen Store (RIP) + my minimal artistic efforts
Shorts – Forever 21
Tights – Claire’s
Boots – DSW

Again, like last year, I had to make do with street clothes instead of any costume shop stuff, and since I’m lazy and unskilled the result is not an exact replica of the character. But who cares. Incidentally this is the exact outfit I wore on my birthday this year, except that the shirt got stained pink in the wash somehow (I don’t own any pink so…wat). Lucky Harley and I share the same taste in fashion.

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My costume choices are never much of a stretch from my actual personality. Interpret that as you will.

Strong #Halloween #spoiler

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Makeup-wise: again, living in Japan necessitates heavy reliance on makeup for Halloween purposes, but Harley’s is simple enough that it turned out surprisingly spot on IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.

Products:
White base – ねり白粉, crazy geisha shit

Eyes – Hijack by Urban Decay (blue eye)
Some nameless blush by YSL (pink eye…)
M6 Brown shadow from the Smashbox Full Exposure Palette
Smashbox Limitless Liquid Liner Pen in Jet Black (which I HATE for everyday use, but worked nicely over the white base)
Makeup Forever Aqua Eyes eye pencil (also used for the CHEEKy heart)

Brows – M1 (brown) and M7 (black) from the Smashbox Full Exposure Palette

Lips – Hourglass Femme Rouge Velvet Crème Lipstick in whatever the dark bloody color is

+ some drugstore eyelashes and mascara, and Claire’s hairspray that matched Harley’s dye job shockingly well
++ bruising and fake blood because why not it’s Halloween

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And anything goes on Halloween…

…At least in America. It’s safe to say not everyone was quite on my level of enthusiasm…So many confused passers-by.

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U wot, m8?

Don’t worry, guys. This is normal. I’m a cultural ambassador, this is literally my job.

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Normal, I tell you. Just ignore the bat.

Thankfully “Suicide Squad” hasn’t been hyped in Japan at all, so even within the gaijin crowd I was in fact the only Harley. And for all the nihonjin I encountered that night, they were just left to wonder why I was talking in such an annoying accent.

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Shouts out to my also totally sober photographers, who were kind enough to step away from beer pong and take photos of me on the street.

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And also during beer pong…

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Which was less of this…

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…and a lot of this.

Thanks for capturing my shame, guys. Guess Harley sucks at pong.

 

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I owe most of my badass photos to this lady, who unlike me actually knows how to use a camera. Instagram to prove it:
https://www.instagram.com/jazmanian_devil_/

Gracias, Furiosa. ❤

All in all, it proved to be a Halloween of fairly epic proportions. Moreover, it was the anniversary of my meeting the amazing fools pictured throughout this post – and that in itself was reason to celebrate.

#SuicideSquadGoals

Long live the Pussy Posse.

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